God Loves Sex:
An Honest Conversation about
Sexual Desire and Holiness
by Dan B. Allender & Tremper Longman III
Rediscovering Holiness through Desire
Sex often sits at the intersection of faith, shame, and longing. Many believers have heard more warnings about it than wisdom within it. In God Loves Sex, Dan Allender and Tremper Longman offer a theologically rich and emotionally honest exploration of sexuality through the lens of Song of Songs. Their work reframes sexual desire as something that mirrors God’s creative and covenantal love rather than opposing it.
For the leaders, counselors, and survivors who make up Help[H]er’s community, this book provides language for the holy tension between brokenness and beauty—a subject often avoided but never irrelevant.
God’s Precepts and Strategies for Desire
Allender and Longman approach the Song of Songs not as an allegory detached from real life, but as a divine affirmation of embodied love. They trace desire as a reflection of God’s own relational nature—an echo of His delight in creation and intimacy with His people.
Throughout the book, the authors ground theological ideas in accessible stories. A fictional character named Malcolm wrestles with his sexual history and shame, allowing readers to witness transformation in real time. By pairing biblical commentary with narrative reflection, God Loves Sex moves beyond abstract theology to demonstrate how God’s design for intimacy intersects with the lived realities of pain and healing.
For those familiar with Allender’s trauma work, the tone feels both pastoral and prophetic: a call to replace fear-driven teaching about sex with a theology of delight and redemption.
Key Takeaways for Leaders and Counselors
This book provides a framework for guiding conversations about sexuality without reducing them to morality checklists. Counselors will appreciate the psychological honesty behind the authors’ approach, particularly the recognition that desire—like every part of the human heart—can be distorted but also redeemed.
Leaders will find encouragement to teach about sex with both conviction and compassion. God Loves Sex invites the church to speak truthfully about intimacy, helping congregations replace silence and shame with scriptural clarity. It reminds readers that healing begins not by denying desire but by understanding its divine origin.
Impact on Victims and Survivors
For survivors of sexual abuse or distortion, this book offers hope that holiness and healing are not mutually exclusive. The authors neither minimize pain nor glorify suffering; instead, they affirm that God meets us in the places most marked by confusion and fear.
By acknowledging the complexity of trauma’s effect on sexuality, God Loves Sex helps readers imagine a restored sense of worth and agency. The narrative of Malcolm serves as a mirror for anyone reclaiming identity after harm—showing that redemption is not about erasing the past but reorienting desire toward goodness and truth.
This resonates deeply with Help[H]er’s mission: reminding readers that God’s presence is active, intentional, and sustaining—even in the tender work of restoring sexual wholeness.
A Theology of Pleasure and Redemption
In the end, God Loves Sex dismantles the false divide between holiness and pleasure. It challenges both cultural permissiveness and religious repression by presenting sex as a sacred act of intimacy that reflects divine joy.
For the Help[H]er audience, the book stands as both a resource and a reminder: God is not ashamed of our humanity. He redeems it.
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