There’s this woman. Let’s call her my hero. There’s actually a whole bunch of them. Maybe someday I’ll have the privilege of writing their stories. This particular woman remains forefront on my list of luminaries because she speaks my language. She speaks resistance.
She’s paid quite a hefty cost because of it. She lost her job; she lost her home. She lost her church, her friends, her sense of belonging, her peace. She almost lost her life.
Yet she remains standing.
The irony is that one of the first times she spoke to me using the language of resistance, she sent a song. She said it reminded her of me. The song, Stand Up (by Cynthia Erivo) sent chills down my spine when first I heard it. It wasn’t because I had this new sense of calling, that I was suddenly passionate to arm myself, charge into dangerous territory, gather “my people” and escape into the night to freedom. I don’t have that kind of courage. I would have a really hard time “los[ing] blood on the way to salvation.”
No, my chill factor came from the realization that God was reminding me standing isn’t safe.
An organization or culture that perpetuates abuse will question the motives of those who ask questions, make the discussion of problems the problem, condemn those who condemn, silence those who break silence, and descend on those who dissent.
Wade Mullen
I’ve been sharing in these Substacks how most of this is true in my story. In my work advocating for women in crisis, I’m often standing next to them, sometimes even standing for them. They may simply need encouragement for achieving their goals, or they might be paralyzed by their situation and unable to speak for themselves. Either way, I find I’m most helpful when I act to rebuild their agency, something which had previously been suppressed by a powerful person or structure (or both). In fact, the case that earned me an investigation by my own church emerged out of my standing beside my neighbor when she made the difficult decision to escape bondage.
Contrary to the charge against me, a “messiah complex” which insistently directed my friend what to do, my approach was to find out her goals and then provide the resources and education for how she might achieve them. That’s what an advocate does. Advocates are aware that those they help have been robbed of their voice, deprived of decision making, and denied the opportunity to function as a human being in their own situation—maybe even to an extent that encompasses their entire world. Advocates don’t swoop in and simply replace the power structures who have devastated their care recipient’s existence and act as pseudo authority figure who happens to just be nicer. But when someone eats, drinks, lives, and breathes an authoritarian mindset,[1] they can’t wrap their brain around that type of person, one who pretty much acts like a cheerleader while an individual person in need makes their own decisions.
Did I suggest or recommend particular actions? Of course. By “education” I mean that, sometimes, the care recipient is not aware of all the complexities that might transpire if they make certain decisions and so an advocate informs—from experience and expertise—consequences. For instance, if a wife who has been abused by her husband makes a list of all the ways he has caused harm and for which he should repent; said husband might use that as a sort of checklist to complete so he can get back in the home/stop separation or divorce proceedings/acquire access to his family and begin to control them again. So, an advocate might say to the wife, “I don’t recommend you share that list with your husband.” My mistake was saying it more forcefully, “I didn’t let _____ share her list with____.”
This is what earned me this “Matthew 18” scolding.[2]
Standing isn’t necessarily defiance. Although sometimes it is. But my standing alongside a woman in need does not mean I get a pass to sin. Sin is foremost and primarily against God. By advocating for another I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with Him. So, as my colleague likes to say, “Humility wins the day.” I’m eager to own what I’ve done wrong.
But, standing is resistance. Paul writes,
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then…
Ephesians 6:11-14
Paul uses the word “stand” 16 times in his letters. In Ephesian 14-18, all of the weapons a Christian puts on depend on this verb. Truth, righteousness, steadfastness, faith, gospel of peace, sword of the Spirit (aka word of God), and prayer tell us how we’re supposed to stand. Verse 11 tells us who we stand against.
In other words, if the atmosphere in the (church, home, relational) culture is full of lies, wickedness, instability, mistrust, contention, or a lack of following God’s word or seeking Him and His will, you can bet it’s the devil scheming.
Resistance means that, if the atmosphere in the (church, home, relational) culture is full of lies, wickedness, instability, mistrust, contention, or a lack of following God’s word or seeking Him and His will, and the devil is scheming, believers are called to infuse that environment with the opposite.
Culture invisibly shapes us. Leaders may initially guide folks toward a particular culture, however members who follow perpetuate that shape. We may not be the ones lying, committing evil, unstable, mistrusting, contentious people-pleasers. But to the degree we don’t resist those qualities, we are complicit.
What does resistance look like practically?
Find and tell the truth no matter how painful.
When you do not care about being responsible for, or accountable to the truth, you are, in fact, allowing for division, separation, and fear. The church’s calling is to create conditions for the opposite qualities.
Jan-Olav Henriksen
Proclaim good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives, release them from darkness, proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve, to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isa 61:1-3)
It is the actual care of others that is the sign of the reign of God as present in this world.
Jan-Olav Henriksen
Don’t sit down or back down; don’t be intimidated nor silenced.
We need to catch evil in the act and smile, calmly and confidently stating what we are willing and unwilling to endure.
Dan Allender, Tremper Longman
Keep your eyes on the goal. The goal is not success, rather it is to better know the One we serve whether or not He roots out wolves from His church. Our faith is in Him and His promises, not a change in the atmosphere. He IS our atmosphere, the cleft in which we are privileged to reside. It is His faith that holds us there, not ours.
Our true work is actually not care giving…but rather tending to our souls in relationship to Christ.
Diane Langberg
Cultivate the gospel of peace as the source of protection in which we as believers are readied to battle against evil.
Never allow anything to come between ourselves and Jesus Christ, no emotion, or experience; nothing must keep us from the one great sovereign source.
Oswald Chambers
Share God’s word in deed.
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart.”
Matthew 12:35
Pray.
Is it possible that God has called us into this work so that we might pray?
Diane Langberg
No one was more intimately aware of the danger of not speaking out about injustice than believers living in Nazi Germany. None were more likely aware of the danger than those who did speak out. Resisting a damaging culture threatens those desirable power systems of worldly success and celebrity. Truth telling carves notches in power structures. Refusing to bow to creatural thrones and principalities dismantles their credibility. But don’t forget Satan is scheming and he won’t go down without a fight. Resisting evil doesn’t typically include easy options.
In my story, resistance by standing up for the evil being committed against a friend meant loss of my church, my husband’s job, our faith community, friends, and our reputation. Hardly worth equating to the life-threatening circumstances in Germany. Nor to the life-threatening circumstances in my friend’s home. The price was minuet in comparison. I won’t minimize the impact if you’ve experienced a similar situation. I won’t say my experience was easy! Or that the pain was not, at times, debilitating. All I can say is that I hope my friend felt loved and supported and that she felt like God was for her. If I can somehow advance those purposes, I’ll stand. And after I’ve done everything, I will STAND some more.
PS love this “spoken word” (hip hop) by Josh Garrels (since we’re on the subject).
- https://clearlyreformed.org/death-to-the-patriarchy/. Additional catch words and phrases to pay attention to which may indicate authoritarianism also include, “created order,” “special instruments,” “ordained,” “rulers,” “leader,” “head,” “unique privilege,” “essential worker,” “overseer,” “divinely appointed,” “dominion,” “order,” “divine authority,” “authoritative role,” “his calling,” “ordained shepherds,” “their shepherding responsibility,” “authoritative leader,” “spiritual authority,” “decision maker,” “divinely ordained,” “accountable,” “ordained leader,” “headship.” As with a similar list on a previous post (Let’s Start at the Very Beginning), some of these terms are biblical and can/will be used in a positive sense. For a better understanding in your context you may want church leaders to define and clarify their position and how it might impact a caregiving ministry for the women in your church.
- If anyone needs to know what spiritual abuse sounds like, this would be your example; someone weaponizing Scripture as a tool with the intent of compelling a person into compliance to their own (rather than God’s) personal goals.
