All suffering is loss, but God leaves nothing unused in His plans. We help women see His redemptive thread throughout their circumstances and then look for opportunities to join with God in His transforming work.
Shepherding, Safety, and Spiritual Care Questionnaire
Spiritual, Emotional, and Psychological Abuse Questionnaire
Dr. Ann Maree Goudzwaard
Founder and Executive Director of Help[H]er.
Season 7 Episode 15 - Storyteller
Resources Related to This Story
Diane Langberg — Resources on Trauma, Power & Abuse
Melissa describes training with Diane Langberg and Phil Monroe as helping give her some of the first language for understanding what she had experienced and for recognizing trauma. Diane Langberg’s teaching includes resources on systemic abuse, the use and misuse of authority, trauma, power, and abuse within Christian environments.
Global Trauma Recovery Institute
Founded by Diane Langberg and Phil Monroe, the Global Trauma Recovery Institute provides training and resources for understanding trauma and supporting trauma recovery. Melissa identifies training with Langberg and Monroe as an important part of beginning to understand her own experience.
“MAMA” — Jess Ray
Melissa references Jess Ray’s song as she reflects on regret and what it might mean to move toward earlier versions of herself with compassion rather than contempt—to consider whether even painful parts of her story can be held differently.
Remembering Her — Joy LaPrade
Melissa references Joy LaPrade’s writing as she reflects on abuses of power and the ways vulnerable people can become resources for those seeking to preserve authority, influence, or institutions.
The Psalms
Throughout her healing, Melissa describes returning to Scripture differently than she once did. She particularly identifies the Psalms as a source of comfort and points to their picture of God’s throne being founded on righteousness and justice—a contrast to human leaders who use authority to serve themselves rather than the vulnerable.
Need Support?
If this conversation stirred something for you, you do not have to navigate it alone.
Help[H]er provides trauma-specialized advocacy, education, and navigation for women in crisis in the church, guiding them toward safety, agency, and restored dignity.
Learn more or connect with Help[H]er at HelpHer.help.
About Safe to Hope
Safe to Hope creates space for women to tell their stories of suffering and loss with care, dignity, and honesty. Nothing in our storyteller conversations is intended to pressure forgiveness, reconciliation, or closure. Our aim is to listen with care and honor the dignity of each woman’s experience
Season 7 Episode 14 - Expert Contributor Mary DeMuth
Resources for Further Exploration
We Too — Mary DeMuth
Drawing from survivor experiences, research, Scripture, and Mary’s own story, We Too addresses sexual abuse within Christian communities and calls the church toward truth, safety, justice, and compassionate care for survivors.
Church Bewilderment — Mary DeMuth
Mary’s forthcoming book explores the disorientation and grief that can occur when the words, values, and promises of a church community no longer align with a person’s lived experience. Mary shares in this conversation that the book is expected in early 2027.
Pray Every Day — Mary DeMuth
Mary’s daily podcast moves through Scripture and prayer. In this episode, she describes the prophets—and Isaiah in particular—as an important source of grounding when church experiences leave people questioning truth, justice, and what they have witnessed.
Need Support?
If this conversation stirred something for you, you do not have to navigate it alone.
Help[H]er provides trauma-specialized advocacy, education, and navigation for women in crisis in the church, guiding them toward safety, agency, and restored dignity.
Learn more or connect with Help[H]er at HelpHer.help.
About Safe to Hope
Safe to Hope creates space for women to tell their stories of suffering and loss with care, dignity, and honesty. Nothing in our storyteller conversations is intended to pressure forgiveness, reconciliation, or closure. Our aim is to listen with care and honor the dignity of each woman’s experience.
One note: Mary’s current official bookstore does not list Church Bewilderment as it is expected in early 2027. (marydemuth.com)
Season 7 Episode 13 - Storyteller
Resources Related to This Story
Elyse’s story traces more than five decades in evangelical churches, ministries, publishing, and biblical counseling. She reflects on her deep desire for family and belonging, the cost of fitting herself into systems that valued her gifts within prescribed boundaries, repeated experiences of institutional dishonesty and betrayal, and ultimately the freedom she found in separating her love for Jesus from her need for acceptance and respectability within evangelical institutions.
Mary DeMuth & Jeremiah’s “Fire in My Bones”
Elyse describes a pivotal conversation with Mary DeMuth, who referenced Jeremiah’s experience of God’s Word being like a fire shut up in his bones. Hearing Mary describe her own experience helped Elyse recognize how exhausted she had become from continually suppressing her desire and gifting to speak and teach.
Need Support?
If this conversation stirred something for you, you do not have to navigate it alone.
Help[H]er provides trauma-specialized advocacy, education, and navigation for women in crisis in the church, guiding them toward safety, agency, and restored dignity.
Learn more or connect with Help[H]er at HelpHer.help.
About Safe to Hope
Safe to Hope creates space for women to tell their stories of suffering and loss with care, dignity, and honesty. Nothing in our storyteller conversations is intended to pressure forgiveness, reconciliation, or closure. Our aim is to listen with care and honor the dignity of each woman’s experience.
Season 7 Episode 12 - Summer Book Review: Bible Truth About Women
To Heal or Harm Steven Tracy
Holy Hurt, Hillary McBride
Something’s Not Right, Wade Mullen
Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse, Lisa Oakley
Breaking the Silence on Spiritual Abuse, Lisa Oakley
Downsizing, Michelle Van Loon
When Narcissim Comes to Church, Chuck DeGroat
Healing What’s Within, Chuck DeGroat
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Dave Johnson, Jeff Van Vonderen
Institutional Betrayal Questionnaire
